A Year Has Past

As Jaekub's 1 year birthday  celebrations come to a close, I am realizing that life is no longer measured in a year, as in January to January, but in Jaekub years; from August 2nd to August 2nd.  While Jaekub was eating cake number two last night (which he didn't really care for) my mom and I looked at each other and commented on what a good year it had been and how we would live it all over again.  It was then that I realized that my year truly started the day that my son was born and life before then was a different period.  I think I could say this a million different ways and still not really make too much sense.  My point being that this weekend was the end of a year for me, and the start of a new one.

A lot has happened in a year, mainly me having a baby and starting grad school.  It went by so fast.  I wish that I would have been better about taking pictures, but that really isn't the type of person that I am.  I am a live in the moment type of girl.  I don't like watching life pass by behind a camera or stepping away to write down that really amazing milestone.  I envy the people that are able to do that.  Who have photos of their children everyday... or every week... or every month!  Or those mommies out there who are able to tell their children the exact moment they smiled the first time or took that first step.  I can tell my son neither of these things, but I know I was there, I know that it was amazing, and to me that is what matters.  Plus I am lucky.  We live very, VERY, close to family so there are lots of other people around to help me out in the picture taking.  And I need all the help I can get. 

I honestly can not believe that Jaekub, my son, is a whole year old and that I have completed an entire year of graduate school (HALF WAY DONE!!!).  In our family, it is a tradition to sing Happy Birthday at the time the person was born, we did this for Jaekub for the first time yesterday and it brought tears to my eyes.  How did my short scrawny newborn turn into an almost toddler with a serious, social personality, "chunky spunky legs," a smile that in his grampa's words makes the whole world stop, and the best kisses and cuddles a mommy could ask for?  How did he go from a tiny helpless baby who needed his mommy and daddy to do everything for him to being able to grab his own snack, get the toy that he wants, turn the pages in his books, and climb up the stairs?  How did my baby boy go from knowing only reflexes to being able to blow kisses, hold his own cup, say "hi" to anyone, and EVERYONE, and know a horse by sight?  He is so smart and getting smarter everyday.  I love watching him grow and learn.  I love being the mommy and knowing that he loves to listen to music, but not dance; he loves to read, but only the short books; his favorite toy is a box of plastic baggies; he loves ice and to drink from a straw; the biggest smiles come when he gets to play in the front seat of the car; and that I am his mommy, and in the end he is mine. 

It makes me sad to know that I will never get to cuddle Jaekub like I did when he was first born and that he is growing so fast.  But I am SOOOOO excited to watch him grow and learn this coming year.  Because in one year, he will be two, he will be feeding himself, walking, talking, and who knows what else.  In one year I will have a Masters degree in counseling psychology, getting a place of our own, and looking for a job.  In one year I will be no better at writing things down, or taking pictures, but I will have lived that year.  In one year, next August, life will be different then it is today, another year will have past.