The Child Comparison Game

The other day I ran into an old elementary school friend at the store.  This friend has a baby girl who is about 18 months now, and is also halfway through her pregnancy with baby #2, who is a boy for those who would like to know.  Since Jaekub is now a year old, the question that often comes up when I run into people is "Is he walking yet?"  I honestly hate this question.  Its as if since my baby is one year old it is expected that he be a walker, and since he isn't,  there is a sense of inadequacy that is implied either with my ability as a mother or my sons development.  Well, this friend at the store asked me the dreaded walking question, and I had to say, once again, that no, he is not walking yet. The response that follows the question is something I hate even more then the question itself.  That is the part where I get told when their child walked.  And just like I figured she tells me that her daughter walked at 11 months!  Its all I can do to stand there and smile and say, "he will do it on his own time, I am in no hurry, and I am not worried."  Not to mention that in general, boys will hit their milestones later then when girls hit theirs (I know there is an exception to every rule, like I said, in general).  I think the thing that bothers me the most about the whole situation is that somehow Jaekub's intelligence and our ability as parents is measured by when he hits his milestones.  I can tell you right now that there is nothing wrong with my son.  No, he doesn't walk yet, but give him a break he isn't even 13 months old yet.  And, he can stand up from a sitting position by himself, he can climb the stairs, again, by himself, he walks along furniture and with his various push toys that he has, and he loves to walk in between mommy and daddy of course while holding our hands.  It is not like he is a bump on a log.  And one year milestones go beyond walking.  Jaekub has great verbal abilities.  He can say a variety of words including: hi, cat, car, na-na, water, yellow, up, off, mom-mom, da-da, elmo, grover and quite a few others that I can't think of off the top of my head.  He also has some signs that he uses appropriately like thank you, more, food, and please (he doesn't use this one often, but he can use it).  I know this is turning into more of a rant then anything, but it is a button that is easily pushed for me.  Babies all develop at their own pace.  Even the same baby will hit some milestones really early, others on time, and others late.  It is unfair to the parents and the child to compare dates of when things happened for anything more then mommies exchanging stories.  I know it is exciting when your baby smiles for the first time, sits up on their own, crawls, and walks and as proud parents we want to let the world know. I have no problem with that.  Go ahead let us all know!  But, when you come across a blog that says baby K giggled at 3 months (that ones for you Caty!) and you have a baby that is 3 and 1/2 and hasn't giggled, don't kick yourself or start worrying that something is wrong with your baby.  And on the flip side, if your baby giggled at 6 weeks, don't go broadcasting it all over this proud moms post making her feel bad about her baby's amazing accomplishment.  Each baby is different, and that is okay.  Jaekub will walk when he is good a ready.  I am excited for when that day will come, and when it does I will be shouting it from the rooftops.  But, it will be from my own pride, not a game piece to be added to the child comparison game.